Signs of Alzheimer's

Spotting the Early Signs of Alzheimer’s: What Adult Children Should Know and How to Talk About It

What Are You Noticing?

For many adult children, noticing that a parent is starting to slip—forgetting things, repeating themselves, or seeming a bit “off”—can be deeply unsettling. You want to help, but you don’t want to alarm, offend, or overstep. As an Alzheimer’s specialist, I’ve seen how difficult early recognition can be, yet how powerful it is when families respond with patience, love, and the right approach.

Early Signs to Watch For

Memory loss that disrupts life. Forgetting names or appointments occasionally is normal, but repeating questions, losing track of conversations, or misplacing objects and insisting others “must have moved them” can signal something more serious.

Difficulty completing familiar tasks. A parent might forget how to balance a checkbook they’ve managed for decades or get confused following a recipe they once knew by heart.

Changes in language. They may struggle to find simple words, pause mid-sentence, or substitute vague terms (“that thing” instead of “the oven”).

Poor judgment and decision-making. You may notice uncharacteristic behavior—falling for scams, neglecting bills, or wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather.

Mood and personality shifts. A once-outgoing parent may grow withdrawn, irritable, anxious, or suspicious—particularly when routines change or they feel confused.

Disorientation. Getting lost in familiar neighborhoods or mixing up days and times may point to problems in spatial awareness and memory.

Why Early Action Matters

If you succeed in getting your parent to see a physician, the evaluation process can identify not only Alzheimer’s but also treatable causes for memory loss, such as medication effects, thyroid changes, or vitamin deficiencies. Even if Alzheimer’s is diagnosed, early detection means your parent can begin treatment sooner, make informed choices about their care, and benefit from resources that improve quality of life.Recognizing and addressing early signs of Alzheimer’s takes courage, empathy, and persistence. As an adult child, you may not be able to stop the disease—but by opening your eyes and heart early on, you give your parent something profoundly meaningful: the gift of time, dignity, and understanding.

What's Next?

Stigma is one of the biggest barriers for people living with dementia to live fully with dignity and respect. The stigma of Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia is continuing to decline and the resources for support and information is increasing. One of the best resources for those with dementia and the people that love and provide care for them is the Alzheimer's Society of Canada. Providing care and support for a loved one with dementia can be stressful and very tiring over time. Family caregivers may require some respite. In-home care support from companies like Home Instead can provide that much needed break.

Starting the Conversation

Once you notice a pattern of changes, the next step is often the hardest: talking about it. Here are some strategies that can help:

Choose the right time and place. Find a calm, private moment when your parent isn’t tired or distracted. Avoid raising the topic during a disagreement or when emotions are already high.

Lead with empathy, not accusation. Frame your concern with care: “I’ve noticed you’ve been having a little trouble remembering things lately, and I’m worried it might be something medical. Can we talk to your doctor together?

”Use “we” instead of “you.” This makes the conversation feel less confrontational. “We could mention this at your next appointment” sounds supportive, whereas “You need to see a doctor” can feel like blame.
Bring specific examples. Having gentle, concrete observations helps. “You seemed confused at the store last week, and that’s not like you” can open dialogue better than vague statements like “You’re forgetting a lot lately."
Expect denial or defensiveness. Fear is a natural response. Stay calm and patient. It often takes several conversations before a parent agrees to be evaluated. Resist arguing—your goal is understanding, not persuasion in a single sitting.
Involve trusted allies. Sometimes hearing concern from a family doctor, close friend, or clergy member can carry more weight than hearing it from a child.

1. Make a Plan

Review what you need to discuss beforehand to help you stay focused during the conversation.
Involve the right people, such as siblings, grandchildren, and anyone involved in their care.
Focus on the positives and how the right care can enhance their independence.

2. Pick the Right Time and Place

Select a location that creates a relaxed atmosphere.
Choose a day and hour that gives you time to talk without distractions.
Be flexible. You might need to have more than one conversation.

3. Listen with an Open Mind

Be patient and encourage them to chat.
Take the time to really listen, restating what you hear.
Don’t interrupt or cut them off.

4. Make it About Them

Be clear that the conversation is about supporting their independence.
Ask how they’re managing and what they’re feeling.
Take their wishes into consideration.

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